GALLANTS attend, and hear a friend, Trill forth harmonious ditty: Strange things I'll tell, which late befel In Philadelphia city. 'Twas early day, as poets say, Just when the sun was rising, A soldier stood, on log of wood, And saw a fight surprising. As in a maze, he stood to gaze, The truth can't be deny'd, sir, He spy'd a score-of kegs, or more, Come floating down the tide, sir. A sailor too, in jerkin blue, The strange appearance viewing, First damn'd his eyes, in great surprise, Then said some mischiefs brewing. These kegs now hold the rebels bold, Pack'd up like pickled herring: And they're come down t'attack the town, In this new way of ferrying. The soldier flew, the sailor too, And, scar'd almost to death, sir, Wore out their shoes, to spread the news, And ran till out of breath, sir. Now up and down, throughout the town, Most frantic scenes were acted: And some ran here, and some ran there Like men almost distracted. Some fire cry'd, which some deny'd, But said the earth had quaked: And girls and boys, with hideous noise, Ran through the town half naked. Sir William he, snug as a flea, Lay all this time a snoring, Nor dreamt of harm, as he lay warm In bed with Mrs. L-g. Now in affright, he starts upright, Awak'd by such a clatter; He rubs both eyes, and boldly cries, "For God's sake what's the matter?" At his bed side, he then espy'd Sir Erskine at command, sir, Upon one foot he had one boot, And t'other in his hand, sir. Arise! arise! Sir Erskine cries; The rebels- more's the pity- Without a boat, are all on float, And rang'd before the city. The motly crew, in vessels new, With satan for their guide, sir, Pack'd up in bags, or wooden kegs, Come driving down the tide, sir. Therefore prepare for bloody war; These kegs must all be routed; Or surely we despis'd shall be, And British courage doubted. The royal band now ready stand, All rang'd in dread array, sir, With stomach stout, to see it out, And make a bloody day, sir. The cannons roar, from shore to shore; The small arms make a rattle: Since wars began, I'm sure no man E'er saw so strange a battle. The fish below swam to and fro, Attack'd from ev'ry quarter; Why sure, thought they, the devil's to pay; 'Mongst folks above the water. These kegs, 'tis said, tho' strongly made, Of rebel staves and hoops, sir, Could not oppose their pow'rful foes, The conq'ring British troops, sir. From morn to night, these men of might Display'd amazing courage; And when the sun was fairly down, Retir'd to sup their porridge: An hundred men with each a pen, Or more upon my word, sir, It is most true, would be too few, Their valour to record, sir. Such feats did they perform that day Upon these wicked kegs, sir, That years to come, if they get home, They'll make their boasts and brags, sir.